we're blogging at a bar
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
