I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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