Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Randomize
