Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
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