dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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