he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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