if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
You don't make any sense
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