You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
