The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
