Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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