I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
