I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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