i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
