I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
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Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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