I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
