The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
