so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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