If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
