I'm drive I can fine osifer
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
