That's intense
Your tits are I can't wait for
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
