i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
