i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
she smelled like a LAN party
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
