if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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