I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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