Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
why is half of my head shaved?
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