I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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