I think I am morally bankrupt
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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