she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
