She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize