i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
