You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
