at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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