My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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