you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize