just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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