and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
