If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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