What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
