Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
