put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i think i have two assholes
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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