Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I would fuck him just for his dog
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
