did you get engaged???
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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