Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I need moral support for this bender
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
