I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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