Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize