So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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