I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
