She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
