I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize