Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
