marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
