I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Randomize