my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
