Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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