I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
