All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
