You were right. It hurts to walk today.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
