he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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