so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
